Oct. 28th, 2004

I'm having a pumpkin carving party tomorrow night. I've spent the evening making stew for the party (it's directly after work, and I thought people might be hungry) and procrastinating cleaning house. This is not hard to do, I do it almost every day, and tonight there were added distractions:

a) the lunar eclipse. I had to run outside every 10 minutes to look at it.

b) The next installment of Fitzwilliam Darcy, Gentlemen, arrived yesterday in the mail, and I'm finding it hard to put down. This one is much more in keeping with Mr. Darcy's character than the last one.

c) shopping for party supplies

d) Tim sent me Part IV of his tour log. It doesn't have Mini Kiss or midwestern cheesybake, which greatly amused me in Part III; but it does feature a raft trip in which he somehow ends up in a raft with a hole in it, a theology student, and only one beer. His account led to a flirtatious exchange. I teased him about back hair, he asked if I'd rather have a "pretty boy Californian, or a rugged mountain man." I said I'd take the mountain man. "I left my meterosexual in New York."

It was weird to read about his insecurities: feeling hairier, paler, and fatter than the rest of his bandmates. I'm not used to men admiting to them. I know he was using them primarily for humorous advantage in his tale; but it surprised me, and touched me. We haven't seen each other in more than five years. I know it will probably be a bit of a surprise for both of us. But I'm still really looking forward to it. Pictures of him show someone who has definitely grown into his nose and left boyhood behind. I haven't sent any pictures of me. I need to get copies (or scans) of the reunion snaps and send some his way. He should know that I have also matured, but am still the spirited, attractive person he's always known. (A year ago, I'm not sure I could have said that.)

But I did manage to get the kitchen clean. I still have to declutter the living room. I've decided not to bother with my bedroom, though I cleaned my bathroom. The other bathroom is clean as no one uses it.

I'm excited about the party, but also a little overwhelmed.

I'm also ashamed of not being better organized about the yard, or my photo research project, which is becoming embarassingly over due. I think I need to have a frank talk with my old boss. I think she already knows, but it's embarrassing to have to say it. I feel like I need a week off from work to resettle my life. I already asked to have Monday off. It will be a relief to have the election over and a short breather before we head into the holidays.

Not sure what else to say, I need to go to bed.

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zalena

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