This weekend's wedding

muphf had a beautiful wedding with his gorgeous bride who changed outfits 3 times to accommodate her different cultural heritages. I want paperdolls for souvenirs. I saw lots of people includeing: randomchris, ashfae, sakuratea, vyrin. If I missed anyone, please let me know.

I wore orange to the wedding and got lots of compliments (including repeated references to Cleopatra?) There are pictures somewhere, which I'm sure will surface in the coming weeks.

It was hot, and I'm glad I decided to take today off, after all those people, I need a little time to recharge.

What's next? Mom's visit in a week. And Leila should be out in August. I still haven't seen Pirates and I'm looking forward to finishing (& getting paid for) my art research project, which hovers tantalizingly close to completion.

How Shamu Ruined the World's Supply of Autonomous Spouses

Has anyone else noticed that the 'How Shamu Saved My Marriage' Modern Love column is still in the Top 5 at the NYT? It's been three weeks!

Anyone who's ever done potty training (or spent any time with someone under the age of 5) knows the value of positive behavioral reinforcement, but really, we're talking about adult men. Isn't it time they start behaving like adults? Isn't it time we start expecting them to?

The whole point of the article seems to be, "Get your mate [man] to do what you want," not what is really an issue in relationships when it comes to pet peeves and shared household duties: caring and control.

When people complain that their mate doesn't do their fair share of the household duties, they are very rarely complaining about having to do a specfic chore. (Case in point: the recent preview for The Breakup with Jennifer Anniston and Vince Vaughn. "I want you to want to do the dishes," she says.) The issue isn't about who actually does the dishes, but that someone would care enough to seek parity in their relationship and the working of the household. Fundamentally speaking the ability of our mate to listen to our demands, or to chip in without being nagged or complaining, helps us believe that they care about us and the day to day workings of a relationship.

Positive behavioral training addresses a behavior, or habit, not the fundamental challenge of spouses unable to communicate with one another. It is a useful tool, but to rely upon it to get ones (adult) spouse to behave in a particular way is in fact manipulative, and an indicator of the sad state of affairs in many partnerships.

Yuk! is all I can say, (though I did forward the article myself to certain women in my office, who might as well use it on their husbands, who otherwise behave like animals, or toddlers.)

Hail, Hail Camp Timberwood by Ellen Conford

I rescued this book from the library book sale last year. Not only was it one of my favorite books growing up, this is the same copy I would check out over and over again. Part of me was heartbroken that nobody else would ever have the pleasure of checking out Hail, Hail Camp Timberwood from the Squareville Public Library, but it couldn't have gone to someone who loved it more.

Of course, re-reading books is a dangerous things. Some books don't stand the test of time, and strangest is reflections of an earlier self swimming up from the depths. I avoided re-reading Timberwood because I was terrified I would find it silly as an adult.

And you know what, I loved it all over again. It was like meeting an old friend after years of separation and discovering we still have lots in common, and that the years have worn very well. The basic plot of a girls' first summer away from her parents is unchanged, and I have a heightened sense of appreciation of how the author takes ordinary moments and turns them interesting. I think what really makes the book is the main characters attitude. She has all sorts of saucy unspoken retorts, and a hilarious imagination. She's normal, as are most of the characters, there are no life-altering problems. Her summer romance is very innocent, little more than holding hands and a little kissing; but the book is honest and entertaining.

When I was a kid made me fall in love with the idea of summer camp, an idea confirmed by later experience. Summer camp continues to be a touchstone in my life, what it was like to be in the swim of things, instead of on the outside observing. This book reminded me of that, and I really enjoyed reading it a second time.